From Body Battles to Body Bliss: Healing Insecurity for the Overwhelmed Perfectionist
Why Body Image Struggles Are So Much Deeper Than Appearance
If you're a helping professional, you probably spend your days focused on other people. But when it comes to your own body, do you feel disconnected, insecure, or even harshly critical? Do you catch yourself avoiding mirrors (or overly checking yourself in them) or constantly comparing yourself to others.
The truth is, body image issues aren’t just about how you look—they’re deeply rooted in how you feel about yourself and your sense of worth. For people pleasers and perfectionists, these insecurities can run even deeper, often linked to emotional wounds that contributed to beliefs like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“Skinny is pretty, fat is ugly.”
“People won’t like me if I look like this.”
“I need to be working harder at fixing my body.”
Unfortunately, these beliefs further propel us back into the cycle of insecurity, shame, guilt, and anxiety.
The Hidden Costs of Body Insecurity
Body insecurity can manifest in so many ways: obsessing over your weight, feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, constantly comparing yourself to others, or even avoiding activities because you don’t want to be seen. But here's the thing—it often stems from the same wounds that cause you to overthink, doubt yourself, and struggle with anxiety.
Those wounds tell you that you’re only worthy if you're “perfect,” thin enough, or flawless in some way. When you’re stuck in this perfectionism-procrastination trap, it feels like you’ll never quite reach the version of yourself that you think you should be. When I was 40 pounds lighter, I was actually my most insecure about my body. Now that I’m 40 pounds heavier and have no boobs (a story for another day), I’m shocked to find that I’m actually MORE confident about my body.
Not because of how it looks has changed for the “better” but because my relationship with it has.
It’s not your fault that you carry body insecurity with you every where you go. There are parts of you that adapted to what you learned in your upbringing about beauty and about what makes a person deserving of love, acceptance and celebration.
Shifting From Control to Connection
As a therapist, I’ve seen how easy it is for helping professionals to feel trapped in body insecurity. You’re used to caring for others, often to the point of putting your own needs last. Body insecurities, like obsessing over your appearance or feeling out of control, are your mind’s way of regaining a sense of safety when everything else feels overwhelming.
It’s a way of taking back some control. You may begin to identify your flaws and “make plans” in order to problem solve through those flaws. Part of that problem solving tends to involve self criticism because a part of you adapted to life and learned that it was safer to criticize yourself before someone else did.
But here's where the shift can happen: Instead of trying to control your body or push away those insecurities, you can learn to connect with what your body really needs instead of planning for how to give your anxiety what it wants. It’s about tuning into the emotional and physical sensations that surface when those insecurities arise and building a relationship with them that’s based on compassion and care.
How to Work Through Body Insecurity
Get Curious About Your Insecurities
Don’t start by exploring where these body image concerns come from. But instead, get curious about the emotions and the sensations that arise in the body when you feel insecure. Work on widening the pause and making space for non-judgmental curiosity.Connect Over Correct
Instead of trying to “fix” how you look or even “fix” your mindset, focus on connecting with your body and connecting to what your thoughts are doing, not just what they’re saying. What sensations come up when you think about your body? How does your body react in moments of stress? Are your thoughts judging, planning, criticizing, remembering, comparing? Label what’s happening and turn attention to the body as you do. Tuning in allows you to build a relationship that’s about listening to your body instead of trying to change it.Use Somatic Practices
Movement, dance, and other somatic practices help you process stored emotions in your body and release tension. When you connect with your body through movement, you begin to see it as a source of strength, creativity, and healing. I got my own body involved (after having a baby) by actually dressing in pants that made my belly look flatter when I buttoned them up and sucked by tummy in. I looked in the mirror with the pants buttoned and my tummy sucked in and said, “you are worthy like this.” Then I unbuttoned and allowed my belly to hang over my pants, un-posed and said to myself, “you are worthy like this.” I alternating and implemented this practice daily for a little while. But in doing this, I spent time connecting to those deeper feelings and allowing myself to feel through them.Disarm Perfectionism
When perfectionism creeps in, remind yourself that it’s VALID to want a perfect body and a perfect life. Learning to embrace your perfectionism as it is— knowing that embracing it (literally, imagine giving it a hug) is what it needs to feel safe in your presence. The parts of you that have adapted (the people pleaser part and the perfectionist part) are WORRIED that you won’t be able to handle imperfection and judgment. We have to show those parts that you love them, you care about them, and that you’re going to teach them new lessons. The lesson being… “I CAN tolerate imperfection and judgment and I am worthy of self love regardless.”
Am I the Therapist for You?
Are you a burnt-out helping professional struggling to juggle it all—work, relationships, self-care, and the pressure to look a certain way?
Do you tend to overthink, spiral into perfectionism, and feel like you’re never quite “good enough”?
Is your body image tied up in feelings of shame, anxiety, or self-doubt that make it hard to feel comfortable in your own skin?
Do you crave a space where you can be fully yourself—no judgment, no pressure, just real talk and deep healing?
If this resonates with you, we might be a perfect fit. I take a body-based (somatic) approach to therapy, helping you work through stored emotions and wounds so you can feel more confident and comfortable in your body. We’ll also dive into parts work to explore the inner critics that keep you stuck, and use creative interventions like movement and art to rebuild a loving, supportive relationship with yourself.
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Call
Ready to shift from body insecurity to body connection? Let’s talk. Schedule your free intro call [here] and see if we’re a match!